Okay, so today I finally had the time and the determination to take that little card over to Cardinal Fitness to get my free day's worth of a workout. I have had this card for a few weeks now, ever since my co-worker Susan gave it to me. First off, this was not an insult or a hint to loose a few pounds. I work at Jenny Craig and Susan had just worked out a little deal with the guy at Cardinal so that they would each refer clients to the other and he gave her a whole stack of day passes. She offered one to me and I took it.
Fast forward to today when I finally go. I show up, walk straight to the front desk and say to the three people standing there "I need some information on joining up, please." I said please because I am generally a polite person. The guy looks at me, slides a little clipboard over and has me write down some information (they will likely use this info to bother me by phone tomorrow, or by mail next week). One of the girls wanders off, and the other one turns to the guy and says "I got this one." He looks at her and says "Nah, it's cool," then turns to me and offers to show me around. I get a short tour of this place, and it's pretty small, honestly.
Now, I need to mention something here. This trainer is cute, he is very cute. Not my type really, but cute. He had nice hair and about a billion freckles. He smiled a lot. So I think I only heard about 80% of what he said (which honestly is only slightly less than usual...ADD child here) because I was trying to figure out not how to get his number (I'm happy with my current situation, thanks), but why fitness trainers are all so good looking. Yes, they are healthy and healthy is attractive, but come on, you get a lot of your looks from genes. So is there a gene that makes you want to work in a health club? Are you somehow drawn to gyms because your great-great-aunt on your mother's side was once a world class gymnasts' trainer? I have no idea. I didn't have time to figure this out or ask him questions about his lineage (which would be weird, but not completely out of character for me), because he immediately started trying to sell me the program. By the way, the deal changed and I could no longer join for $10; I'm not happy about that. We'll get back to that point though in a minute.
I whip out my pretty little card and say "Actually, I want to use this today." Freckle Boy looked disheartened (I wonder if they work on commission) but he took my card and my ID (I'm not sure why) and tells me to have fun. I ask him where the ladies locker room is because he didn't say or because I was too distracting wondering about his great-great aunt on his mother's side. Who I suspect was secretly Irish, but moved to Russia because that's where the gymnasts were at the time. This is beside the point though.
A few minutes later I'm on that treadmill and I'm wondering a few things. The thought that kept coming up though was why do people always want to meet someone at the gym? This is a horrible place to find a potential date people!! Yes, your date will be healthy and maybe muscular and/or athletic. Or they could be like you and just pretending to get a proper workout while on the prowl for a date. Plus, now think long & hard about this one: do you really want to meet someone while you're all sweaty & gross? More importantly, do you want to meet someone while THEY are all sweaty & gross? I don't know about you, but I don't. Plus, if you get the date and they turn out to be a horrible person that you never want to see again, how do you face them at the gym next time?
From what I observed today with my free day pass is that no one really wants to meet someone at the gym. Okay, that's not true. Everyone wants to meet someone somewhere and the gym is not off-limits. There were people checking each other out, but in the end, the gym is not an ideal place to meet someone. Most people just plugged in their headphones and walked on the treadmill or sat on a bike. Headphones are the perfect thing to send the "I-Don't-Want-To-Talk-To-Anyone-Now" vibe. It works about 93% of the time, try it. Some girls were texting on their phones (I'm not being sexist, I'm just reporting what I saw), which gives off the I'd-Rather-Talk-To-Someone-Else vibe, which may be even more effective at getting people to leave you alone. It's easier to listen to music though if you're running. Most women did not wear a lot of makeup, because they were working out. They're going to get all nasty anyway, why go through the hassle of getting pretty first? It's a waste of time and effort. No one dresses up to look nice when they go to the gym--it's simply impractical.
So, tell me, why do people always think that when they join a gym they'll meet someone fabulous and amazing to sweep them off their feet (or someone you can sweep off their feet)? There are thousands of places better to meet someone! Unless, of course, cute, freckle-faced trainers who were somewhere along the line secretly Irish, then by all means, join the gym and if I decide that it's not worth going to my first choice gym and go to Cardinal, then we can work out together. I'll even talk to Freckle Boy for you & be your wing-girl. It's something I'm good at. But if that's not what you want, ignore the stories and look for someone where you are comfortable.
If you like books and want to meet a cute, Nerdfighting girl who likes books also, try Barnes & Noble. If you are caffeine-addicted and want to meet a nice guy who doesn't make fun of you for drinking four cups an hour, try Starbucks. There's always the internet, but be careful there. And if you're in Chicagoland and need a wing-girl who writes really long blogs like this one, call me.